Care Is There

A Good Man – Chapter 7 – JohnA Passaro


It is beautiful to express love
And even more beautiful to feel it.

Dejan Stojanovic


For me, the hardest part of being a caregiver is the seclusion I feel from the world.

It is a feeling that the world I was once a part of is being lived without me in it.

I have this contradictory desire to be in two different places at the same time – to be part of the world and to take care of a loved one.

Rationally, I understand fulfilling both desires are not simultaneously possible.

If I were only able to live one life, I undoubtedly would choose to live the life secluded from the world, taking care of Jess.

And I have no problem with that.

I would make that same choice, without any qualms, 100% of the time.

What makes my choice easier to execute is when the world stops for a moment and lets me know it understands why I am not there, that I am still an important part of it and that I am missed.


My day started today with a phone call from an old friend, one whom I haven’t spoken to in a few years.

During our conversation, he says to me,

“John, I just want you to know we haven’t spoken in a while – but I think about and pray for you and your family every day.”

Hearing those simple sincere words gave me such a good feeling.

A feeling that lasted the whole afternoon.

Later that evening, I received a private message from a Facebook friend whom I haven’t seen since high school.

It read,

“John, I was just wondering how Jess was?
I just want you to know I think of you and your family all the time.
I pray for you constantly.
I wish you all the best.”

Timing is everything in life.

As today was the six-year anniversary of Jess losing oxygen to her brain.

Neither of my two friends had any way of knowing.

I know it is not a coincidence that the universe made them communicate their care for me, at the exact time I needed to feel it.

Anne Frank wrote: “How wonderful it is that nobody need wait a single moment before starting to improve this world.”

With just a few heartfelt words, two people made a vast difference in my day.

In the way I felt.

In my outlook.

In my ability to get through a trying day.

The universe surely works in mysterious ways.

The power of caring words.

They are great to hear.

I am so grateful my two friends were kind enough to transfer their thoughts from inside their heads to my heart.

As Oscar Wilde said, “The smallest act of kindness is worth more than the grandest intention.”

I know now I must do the same.

I need to let Bill know that I am thinking of him.

And his family.

Before today, my sharing that complicatedly simple message with Bill didn’t seem like I was doing enough.

Now I know that it is.


Read the next chapter – Truly Knowing


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